How do you feel about your skin? Can you look in the mirror and feel comfortable with what you see?
My journey to self confidence through self awareness that would eventually lead to self acceptance started with skincare. In June 2016, I decided to get serious about my skin. I introduced Acne.org into my skincare routine, paying special attention to how my skin looked with and without makeup. A year later, I had found my groove. I was able to decouple the Acne.org regimen and discovered that my skin flourished when I stuck to three simple steps: cleanse, moisturize, and treat. Watch my Journey to Clear Skin video for more information on this 3 step process.
Even with all this progress, I’ve experienced many setbacks along the way. I’ve tried products that worked and became go-to staples. I’ve tried products that didn’t. I’ve broken routine, only to have the texture and discoloration return. My relationship with my complexion has taught me the value in having a system and sticking to it, as well as the importance of flexibility and trying new things. It’s been a catalyst in developing a healthy body image.
Some of my skincare products (Yeouth Hyaluronic Acid, Acne.org Benzoyl Peroxide, and Nature Republic Aqua Cream)
When I moved to Pittsburgh, my intentions were clear and so was my skin. I was on a mission. Determined to become successful, responsible, and independent. I had to move on short notice, but things seemed to fall in line like divine timing. I bought a ticket, started work, and signed a lease all within two weeks. With whatever I could fit into two suitcase, I moved into my new apartment. I was ready to make this place a home, no matter how temporary. I was ready to grow roots, no matter how shallow.
I started to meet new people and make friends. Work was picking up and things were going really well until Fall came. On a trip back to Houston to complete my relocation process, I fell extremely sick and had to be hospitalized. I ended up staying in Houston for a week longer than expected. This was enough to throw me off track and the first thing to go was the appearance of my skin. Without the strength to do even the most simple skin care routine, I started to break out. It was vicious. Tiny dots covered my face, spreading like ant hills across the surface. It looked (and sometimes was) painful.
My skin on October 31, 2018
I was mortified at the thought of having to return to work with a face full of blemishes. I hated the fact that I would have to face my new friends with my skin looking the worst it had ever looked. I was ashamed that I literally could no longer put my best face forward in this new place during such a pivotal time in my life. The idea of it almost made me outright sick to my stomach.
Over the years, I had intrinsically tied my value as a person to how clear, dewy, radiant, flawless (or any other adjective you may find scribbled on the side of a beauty product bottle) my skin was. When people started noticing my skin, complimenting me on how beautiful it looked, I automatically believed I had leveled up. My stock went up. My confidence increased.
In the several weeks that followed, it took a whole lot of dedicated skin cleansing, moisturizing, and treating as well as a ridiculous falling out with a friend before I could see just how much of my desirability I had incorrectly placed in the appearance of my skin. I realized that my power comes from the effort I put into feeling my best, not actually just looking my best. Confidence is built when you do your best and succeed, tenacity is built when you do your best and don’t succeed but you keep trying anyway, and flexibility is built when you’re comfortable with trying something else or simply letting go. It’s ok when my skin returns to its not so attractive state because I know that it does not represent who I am or determine my self worth.
My skin now
I think it’s important to pay attention to how we’re always learning and how through seemingly mundane or maybe even superficial actions, like a having a skin care routine, we can create space for self reflection. Is skincare important to you? What are some things you’ve learned from your relationship with your skin? How can you apply these lessons to your life on a holistic level?